pretend or be real and shortcut or long road…

another relational crossroads we all face is when i choose to pretend or to be real.

the bible says in romans 12.9 (nlt) about this matter of getting into the game of relationships, don’t just pretend that you love others, really love them. 

but pastor i might get hurt.  can i tell you something?  you will get hurt but it will be worth it.

ephesians 4.25 (the message paraphrase), what this adds up to then is this, no more lies, no more pretense.  tell your neighbor the truth.  in CHRIST’s body we’re all connected to each other.  after all, when you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. 

you can't really grow until you quite pretending, you quit lying and start being honest.

another one  that we’re all going to face throughout our lives when it comes to relationship and that’s the crossroads where i choose the shortcut or the long road.  where i choose the easy way or the hard way.   

relationships take a long road.  ephesians 4.2 (tlb) says, be humble and gentle.  be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love. 

relationships are messy.  they don’t always work out the way you want them to work out, they always take more time that we expected and so because of that i’ve got to decide, “i’m going to give them the time to develop.” 

remember all those one-minute books that were popular a few years back?  one minute manager and i think there was a one minute parent and a one minute marriage and one minute relationships.  you can’t really do a relationship in one minute. 

a lot of people read that and think, “great!  one minute a day and i’m going to have a great relationship.”  folks, it’s built minute upon minute upon minute.  you cannot fit a growing relationship, a better relationship into a palm pilot.  you can try but it doesn’t work.  you can write down “7:00 – 7:15, quality time with my kids.”  but what happens if they’re a little bit late.  then you’re angry and there goes the quality time.  what happens if they don’t fit in with your schedule? 

you can write in 9:00-9:45 fight with my wife”.  no, you can’t schedule a fight.  they just sort of happen in life.  that’s the way relationships work.  you can’t schedule them. 

the truth of the matter is because relationships don’t always work out like we want them to, many times they just wreck our schedules, they tear our schedules apart.  and i’ve got to decide am i going to take the short cut and try and make this easy and try to get through it quick?  or am i willing to take the long road with someone even when life is tough? 

just a thought from the front porch…

pretend, judge or love?…

some of you have not felt loving toward a loved one for weeks or months or maybe even years. you have a parent, a husband or wife, a partner, a brother or sister or some relative, but you don’t love them and you don’t feel any love toward them. because you’re stuffing the truth. you’re pushing it down. you’re not dealing with it and you are killing the relationship.

margaret becker wrote a song called honesty. part of it goes like this, “tonight by the glow of the firelight you found the courage to speak your mind and tear down the walls you’ve been hiding behind. so many of us spend so much of our time smoothing things over and pretending they’re fine.”

who do you need to have an honest conversation with? who do you need to speak the truth in love to? somebody in your neighborhood? do you see a teen-ager heading down the wrong direction, getting involved in things they have no business getting involved in and you know that their parents aren’t going to do anything about it. will you? will you care enough to speak the truth in love? as a friend. what are you pretending isn’t a problem in your relationships? what are you pretending not to know? what is the pink elephant in the center of your living room?

let me ask this: what excuses have you been giving to procrastinate bringing up the issue that everybody needs to deal with? “i don’t want to make it worse!” being quiet will make it worse. “i don’t want to be judgmental.” we talked about this. it isn’t about being judgmental. it’s about being loving. “i don’t know what to say. i don’t know the answer.” you don’t have to know the answer. you only have to point out the problem. GOD will take care of step two. GOD has not called you to solve everybody’s problem in the whole world. you don’t have to solve everybody’s problem, but you do have to care enough when you see the problem of somebody you love to point it out. that’s called love. graduate-level loving. you care enough to not be quiet. you speak up.

you say, “it’s not my place. it’s none of my business. who am i to point that out?” the phrase “it’s none of my business” is one of the most selfish statements ever created. basically, the person who says, “it’s none of my business,” is saying, “the rest of the world can go to hell in a handbag. i don’t care.” it’s an incredibly selfish statement. love demands that sometimes you confront. love demands that sometimes you say, “this isn’t working out. stop this. let me help you.” will you care enough to confront?

i realize that what i’m talking about is for mature audiences only. you can’t handle this unless you’ve got a level of maturity. this is so counter culture. our culture basically says, “let everybody do what they want to do and don’t worry about it. it’s no skin off my nose. if they want to mess up their lives, if they want to destroy their marriage, their life, fine.” the real issue is, are you willing to be used by GOD?

just a thought from the front porch…

GOD’s power is not automatic…

some of you may be saying, “i know i need to trust GOD. i do have problems that are about to get me down. but i don't know if this stuff really works. it seems to work for you, pastor bill but it doesn't work for me. i'm a believer but i never felt GOD's power in my life.” and i'm sure you are exactly right!

the fact is, GOD's power is not automatic. i would say that most CHRISTians do not have GOD's power in their life to any degree. there are some steps – some things you must do to appropriate it.

most CHRISTians never get GOD's power in their life. they never key into it. they are just as defeated as unbelievers and just as tired and fatigued. so the question then becomes, how do you appropriate GOD's power in your life on a consistent basis?

well for one i admit my lack of power. i admit that i don't have it all together.

you see, our problem is that we think we're omnipotent. we think we're GOD. “i can handle anything. i can do everything.” if you don't believe it, look at your schedule. who are you kidding?

if you burn the candle at both ends you're not as bright as you think you are. admit your need for GOD's power in your life. you can't do it all on your own. you come out of high school joe jock, believing you can take on everything. then, later, you realize that you don't have all power. stress, tension and frustration come as a result.

mid-life crisis is simply waking up to your limitations, realizing you are not GOD. you cannot control everything. you are not going to reach every goal you set in life. you're not going to make as much money as you may have thought. you are a human being. you have weaknesses. you're getting older! your hairline may be receding!

what do you do when you realize you are weak? 2 corinthians 12.9-10 (ph) paul says, GOD said to me “where there is weakness, MY power is shown more completely.” therefore i have cheerfully made up my mind to be proud of my weaknesses, because they mean a deeper experience of CHRIST's power. for my very weakness makes me strong in HIM!

when you pretend to be self sufficient, you short circuit GOD's power in your life. a self-made man needs to admit his inadequacy and then he can start having power. until then you're going to burn out.

just a thought from the front porch…