an area every one of us has to deal with..

look at this poem, “the wrecking crew”

i stood on the street of a busy town

watching men tearing a building down

with ho heave ho and a lusty yell

they swung a beam and a side wall fell

i asked the foreman of the crew

“are those men as skilled

as those you’d hire if you’d wanted to build?”

“ah, no, no indeed,

just common laborers are all i need

i can tear down as much in a day or two

as would take skilled men a year to do.”

and then i thought as i went my way

just which of these two roles am i trying to play?

have i walked life’s road with care,

measuring each deed with rule and square?

or am i one of those who roam the town

content with the labor of tearing down?

this is an area every one of us has to deal with – a critical attitude, being judgmental.  if you want to find some fault in somebody, you can.  everybody is imperfect.  it’s all in what you decide to look at.  if you choose to make friends in life one of the things you have to do is overlook their faults.  love the good parts in them and overlook the bad parts.  if you want to have a successful marriage, you have to learn to stop criticizing and questioning your mate's motives.  look at the good parts in their life.

listen, this matter of judging is one of the most common problems.  james says it’s really playing GOD.  only GOD has the right to judge, evaluate and criticize someone.  HE’s got all the facts.  HE’s impartial.  we’re not.  it’s not our place.  it will be a liberating experience when you realize that GOD has not called you to judge other people but HE’s called you to be accountable to HIM.

would you pray a prayer like this in your heart, “LORD, help me to quit playing GOD.  help me this week to not be critical and judgmental, to watch my mouth and not gossip and pass on damaging information, but to build up others and to share only those things that encourage and lift up.  LORD, thank YOU for YOUr grace in my life.  thank YOU that YOU don’t give me what i deserve but YOU give me what i need.  help me to do that with others, to pass on to them what they need.  i pray this in JESUS’ name.  amen”

the most forgiving is the most forgiven...

remembering how much GOD has been merciful to me helps me if i am a judgmental person.

james 2.13 (niv), mercy triumphs over judgment.

there is a principle greater than criticism.  it’s the principle of forgiveness.  the principle of mercy.  JESUS said, blessed are the merciful.

matthew 18 is the story of the unforgiving servant.  he owed $50,000 to his master.  his master forgave him.  then he went out and found the guy that owed him $5 and strangled him because he wouldn’t pay him.  when the master heard about it he took the servant and said, “if that the way you want to play the game, ok.  you’re unforgiving, it will be unforgiven for you.”

the bible says we’re to be merciful because GOD has given us so much mercy.  the reason why i have to be patient with you is because GOD is patient with me.  the reason you have to be patient with me is because GOD is patient with you.  that’s the way it goes.  none of us get what we deserve.  if we did we wouldn’t be here.  it’s all by GOD’s grace.

we take advantage of GOD’s grace.  we forget how good it is.  when you first become a CHRISTian you understand how much you’re forgiven.  it’s a thrilling experience and you’re really grateful for it.  but the longer you’re a CHRISTian, the more you take for granted.

kind of like the boss who gives everybody in the company a $350 CHRISTmas bonus.  everybody praises the boss.  the second year he decides to do it again – a second $350.  by the third CHRISTmas you’ve already spent the money and thinking what is he going to do this year?  if he didn’t give it you’d be upset.  we become conditioned to be ungrateful. 

if GOD’s been gracious with us we need to be gracious with others.  the most forgiving person is the most forgiven person.  once a person has fallen, made mistakes, realized it and faced up to it, you’re a lot more sympathetic, open and forgiving, kind and loving with other people.

just a thought from the front porch…

so how do we break the judging habit?...

so now we have dealt with the fact that we judge more than is acceptable by GOD so how do we break the habit of judging others?

well first of all i need to remember that i’ll be judged by the same standards that i use to judge other people.

if you want something to help you be a little more considerate, look at matthew 7.1-2 (niv), do not judge others, so that GOD will not judge you, for GOD will judge you in the same way you judge others, and HE will apply to you the same rules you apply to others.

we are in trouble!  the way we judge others – the same measure we mete out is the same measure we get back.  if you want something to help you break the habit of talking critically about other people, remember that.  what you dish out will be dished out to you.

also remember that each of us is accountable to GOD.

romans 14.12-13 (niv), everyone of us, then, will have to give an account to GOD.  so then, let us stop judging one another.

you’re not accountable to me in the ultimate sense of every area of your life.  you don’t have to report to me but one day we’re all going to stand before GOD and then GOD is going to know our motives. 

how’s GOD going to judge?  HE’s going to judge, honestly, fairly, truthfully.  it won’t be based on hearsay, rumors, third hand passed down stuff but based on the facts.  HE will judge impartially. 

in the court system it seems some people get off lighter than others. sometimes it doesn’t seem fair.  that’s true.  the bible never said that the world would be fair.  but one day GOD is going to settle the score.

why is it that people who do all kinds of evil things get away with it all of the time?  why is that?  is it fair that hitler could ruin so many lies and then just take his own life?  the bible says that on the other side, GOD settles the score.  one day we’ll all be judged by the LORD and we’ll give an account to HIM.

just a thought from the front porch…

are you sure you really know?…

have you ever stopped to think that we have no right to judge other people’s motives and question why they do what they do?  of course we haven’t or we wouldn’t do it.  but the bible advises us against doing it.

1 corinthians 4.5 (niv) says, therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; (nothing) wait till the LORD comes.  HE will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.

now to understand this you have to understand the verses around it.  what is paul talking about?  he’s talking about motives.  everywhere paul went his motives were constantly being challenged, questioned.   he is saying don’t judge people’s motives, wait until the LORD comes.  it’s premature to judge people’s motives.

why is it premature?  nobody really knows what’s in somebody else’s heart.  you can guess but you don’t know.  to judge somebody means we’re judging without the facts.  only GOD has the right to judge because HE can see in the heart. 

the bible says that someday when the LORD comes back HE will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.  i have a hard enough time just trying to figure out my own motives about a lot of things, much less making a good guess at yours.  so do you.

a lot of times we don’t know why we do what we do.  what makes us think we can figure out what makes other people do what they do?  we have a hard time just judging our own selves but one day it’s going to be brought to light.

you can never judge anybody’s motives, what they're doing.  you don’t know what going on in their lives.

just a thought from the front porch…

even with other CHRISTians…

well it is the day after CHRISTmas here on long island and i hope it was a special day for you with your family and I hope your disagreements with them were at a minimum,  now many times judgment can lead to those disagreements and many times it starts with the CHRISTian in the family.  but the bible lets us know that judging isn’t acceptable to GOD even with other CHRISTians. 

james 4.11 tells us it’s wrong to judge when it causes you to speak evil about another CHRISTian.

(niv), brothers do not slander another.  anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it.

anything that causes me to speak evil about another CHRISTian maybe even to ruin their reputation is wrong.  we are to hate wrong but we’re to love people even when they are doing wrong.

ephesians 4.29 (msg) says, watch the way you talk. let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. say only what helps, each words a gift.  CHRISTians ought to be known for their encouragement not their criticism.  we don’t need nagging; we need encouragement.  we know what’s right, we just need encouragement to do it.  i would like to be known as an encourager.  i think that’s what GOD wants us to be.

just a thought from the front porch…

maybe this is a good thing with our family…

this can be a difficult time of the year in being with family and this problem of judging.  we can be tough with our parents and brothers and sister but judging isn’t an option from the scripture standpoint.

now the apostle paul in his new testament letter to the colossians says it is wrong to judge people on the basis of external observances.

colossians 2.16&17 (msg), so don’t put up with anyone pressuring you in details of diet, worship services, or holy days. all those things are mere shadows cast before what was to come; the substance is CHRIST.

paul is saying it is wrong to judge people, their spirituality, on the basis of externals, religious observances.  you can’t tell a person’s walk with GOD based on their outward external observances – by what you eat or drink or if you worship on saturday, sunday or tuesday.  all those things are mere shadows cast before what was to come.  reality is found in CHRIST.  when i judge somebody on the basis of their outward religious observances i’m missing the point.

this is what romans chapter 14 is all about.  they had a church that some people were judging each other because they looked at certain habits and said, “you can’t be a CHRISTian and do that!”

paul says this is what is happening.  you’re judging each other and calling each other weak or strong.  you’re fighting back and forth.  he says there are three things that cause a lot of conflict: drink, diet, days.  what you drink, what you eat and when you worship.

two guys are at the “i love my church” banquet.  one guy is enjoying a wonderful turkey dinner.  the other says, “i’m a vegetarian.”  “you’re kidding?  i thought only kooks were vegetarians.” “i thought only kooks ate turkey.”  and they start fighting over whether they’re going to eat meat or not.  that’s unwise.  GOD has accepted both.

romans 14.13 (msg) says, forget about deciding what’s right for each other. here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.  these are principles here:  whatever you do have a clear conscious about it.  don’t offend other people.  don’t judge each other.

it’s wrong when we judge people on the basis of external observations.  CHRISTians disagree on many things.  it is a good thing to also think about when you are with your family over the CHRISTmas holidays.  ok? ok!

just a thought from the front porch…

two more reasons why it is wrong to judge others…

here are a couple more reasons why it is wrong to judge other people…

it’s wrong to judge others when you draw conclusions based on outward appearance. 

in john 7.24 (niv) JESUS says, stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.

we tend to make our impression of people in about 15 seconds and most of that is in the way that they look.  we judge people, we size them up, by their face, clothing, hairdo.  if you judge just on the basis of appearance, that’s unwise.

1 samuel 16.7 (niv).  samuel said this when he chose david, the runt of the family to be king of israel.  others were saying, “not david!  that scrawny kid!  he’s nothing.  the other brothers are the sharp ones!”  but samuel said, GOD doesn’t look at the appearance.  GOD looks at the heart.

and then it’s wrong to judge when you condemn somebody before you hear the facts.

john 7.50 (niv), nicodemus who had gone to JESUS earlier and who was one of their own number, asked, (talking to the sanhedrin) “does our law condemn anyone without first hearing him to find out what he is doing?”

that’s a rhetorical question.  the obvious answer is, “no”.  it’s wrong to judge when you condemn somebody before you hear the facts.  if you study scripture you’ll find that even if your conclusions are right about that person you’re still wrong – because you did it without getting the facts.  there is always more than one side of a story.  there are three sides to a story: your side, their side, GOD’s side.  usually we have partial truth.

just a thought from the front porch…

a point with humor…

we are looking in the bible at why it is wrong to judge other people.  matthew writes that it’s wrong to judge when it blinds me to my own faults.

matthew 7:3-5 (niv), why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  how can you say to your brother, “let me take the speck out of your eye” when there is a plank in your own eye?  you hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you can see clearly to remove the speck in your brother’s eye.

JESUS is talking here in HIS famous sermon on the mount.

this is a good example of the fact that JESUS told jokes.  hebrew humor is humor by exaggeration.  HE said this in exaggeration and i’m sure the disciples got a big laugh.

imagine two guys: one guy has got some sawdust in his eye and the other has a telephone pole hanging out his eye.  JESUS is making a point here with humor.  HE is saying it is wrong to judge when it blinds me to my own faults.  if judging you causes me to not look at myself realistically, then it’s wrong.  we are great speck analyzers, nitpicking specks, when we have a logjam in our own eye.

so it is wrong when you practice the same sin.  it's wrong when it blinds you to your own fault.

just a thought from the front porch…

be consistent…

we are looking here on the front porch at this matter of us playing GOD when we judge other people.  there are seven places in scripture where it says it is wrong to judge.  the scripture does say in some places that we are to judge certain things.  we’re to judge ourselves and we’re to judge certain matters.

but over in paul’s letter to the romans he tells us it is wrong to judge other people when i’m practicing the same sin.

romans 2.1-3 (msg), you didn’t think, did you, that just by pointing your finger at others you would distract GOD from seeing all your misdoings and from coming down on you hard? you, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same thing.  now we know that GOD’s judgment on those who do such things is based on truth.  so when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet you do the same things, do you think you will escape GOD’s judgment?

i don’t have any right to speak up, if i lack the personal integrity where i’m guilty too.

remember the woman caught in adultery?  what did JESUS say to the pharisees?  he who is without sin cast the first stone. and they all walked away.

that’s what GOD is saying here.  i don’t have any right to judge anyone else if I’m guilty of the same thing.  we need to be consistent.

just a thought from the front porch…

it is in GOD’s job description not ours…

we are looking at what james here in chapter four of his new testament book from the bible says are some reasons why we shouldn’t judge or slander other people.  we’ve seen that it is unCHRISTian, it is unloving and then it is unjustified.

james 4.11 (niv), …there is only one lawgiver and one judge. 

the word “lawgiver” is used six times in the old testament and only once in the new testament.  the six times in the old testament refer to GOD and the same thing here – it’s referring to GOD.  only GOD has the right to judge.  it’s in GOD’s job description but it’s not in your job description to judge people.  HE has not commissioned you to talk to everybody about everybody else.

one of the great weaknesses in people is we tend to generalize people by one mistake.  if they make one mistake we write off their whole personality.  if a guy makes a foolish mistake, we say, “he’s a fool!”  not necessarily.  maybe he just made a foolish mistake in one particular area.

listen to this, we tend to judge in other people things we dislike in our self.  psychologists have known that for a long time.  when you see someone who reacts violently to a particular sin usually in their heart it means they have a hang up with it.  it doesn’t mean they’re involved in it.  it might just mean they have a fear that they will be involved in it.  we always tend to react to our weaknesses in others.  what we see is usually just a mirror of self.

just a thought from the front porch…

people never forget…

another reason why we shouldn’t judge or slander others is because it’s unloving.

james 4 verse 11 (niv), …anyone who judges…speaks against the law…  is it illegal?  is there a law against judging in the united states? 

no, then what law is it i’m breaking?  james mentioned it earlier.  he mentions it two or three times in the book.  james 2.8 (niv), if you really keep the royal law found in scripture,“love your neighbor as yourself”...  james says if you do this you’re doing what?  when i judge you i’m breaking the royal law – the law of love – love your neighbor as yourself.

we say,  “it’s just words and people will forget them.”  people never forget words.  you always remember them.  it's unCHRISTian and unloving.

just a thought from the front porch…

doing the devils work for him…

what we are dealing with here in the 4^th chapter of james in the nt is something very serious.  we shouldn’t slander or judge people but so many do because it excuses their faults and because of pride.  but james then give us some reasons why we shouldn’t judge or slander.

one reason is found in the other part of  james 4.11.  it is unCHRISTian.  here is what it says in the new international version,  brothers and sisters, do not slander one another.  anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law… 

actually when it says, judges him it mentions the words brother or sister again.  brother or sister is used three times in this passage.  why?  it is because we shouldn’t judge one another because we’re all part of the same family.  we’re brothers or sisters.  when i see another CHRISTian stumble or fall or have a tough time, i shouldn’t rejoice in that because they’re family.  i should be concerned about it.  i think a lot of times we get a little bit of glee out of it.

i heard about a guy who came to a pastor one time and said, “i don't have but one talent.”  the pastor asked, “what's your talent?”  the man said, “i have the gift of criticism.” folks, the gift of criticism does not come from the HOLY SPIRIT but from the devil and the pastor was wise and thought about the parable in the bible and said, “the guy who had only one talent went out and buried it.  maybe that is what you should do with yours.”

notice it says, brothers and sisters, do not slander.  the word “slander” and the word “devil” are the same word in the greek.  the word devil means, “slander.”  the bible calls satan the accuser of CHRISTians.  he’s the slanderer of CHRISTians.  what does this mean? 

the devils number one activity is going around and putting people down, to slander them and malign them.  we are most like the devil when we slander, when we speak against somebody else (including all kinds of criticisms, maligning, judging) we’re doing the devils work for him.  that’s what the devil’s job description is. 

john 8:44 (niv), the devil is…the father of lies.  revelation says he’s the accuser of brothers.  it’s unCHRISTian to judge other people.

just a thought from the front porch…

but i’m right and you are wrong…

proverbs 13.10 (nlt), pride leads to conflict.  all conflict is, is ego, pride.  when margaret and i have a conflict it’s because i’m proud and i don't want to admit i was wrong or she was proud and she doesn’t want to admit she was wrong or we’re both proud and we both don’t want to admit we are wrong.

pride guarantees conflict at work, church, home school, wherever.  selfishness – we want things for ourselves.

james 4.11-12 (niv), brothers, do not slander one another.  anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it…there is only one lawgiver and judge, one who is able to save and destroy.  but you, who are you to judge your neighbor?

another source of conflict is judging others – judgmentalism.  all of us are guilty of judgmentalism.  GOD says, “don’t judge people.”  if you do this you’re going to have a fight.  you’re always finding fault, always stirring up strife, always spreading rumors.  don’t judge. 

why?  why should i not judge?

1.  i’m not GOD.  when you judge somebody it’s playing GOD.  there is only one judge, only one lawgiver – GOD.

2.  only GOD has all the facts, you don’t and neither do i.  when i judge you, i don’t have all of the facts.

3.  i don’t know the motives.  and you don’t either.  you can’t tell what’s in somebody’s heart.  you don’t know.  only GOD does.

so only GOD has the right to judge.  HE has all the facts; HE knows everything.  HE knows all the motives; HE sees into our heart; HE’s got the truth so HE can judge.  but we are limited in our insight.  we don’t have any right to judge.

GOD says selfishness and judgmentalism causes conflict.  GOD’s says selfish and judgmental people are immature.

just a thought from the front porch…

pretend, judge or love?…

some of you have not felt loving toward a loved one for weeks or months or maybe even years. you have a parent, a husband or wife, a partner, a brother or sister or some relative, but you don’t love them and you don’t feel any love toward them. because you’re stuffing the truth. you’re pushing it down. you’re not dealing with it and you are killing the relationship.

margaret becker wrote a song called honesty. part of it goes like this, “tonight by the glow of the firelight you found the courage to speak your mind and tear down the walls you’ve been hiding behind. so many of us spend so much of our time smoothing things over and pretending they’re fine.”

who do you need to have an honest conversation with? who do you need to speak the truth in love to? somebody in your neighborhood? do you see a teen-ager heading down the wrong direction, getting involved in things they have no business getting involved in and you know that their parents aren’t going to do anything about it. will you? will you care enough to speak the truth in love? as a friend. what are you pretending isn’t a problem in your relationships? what are you pretending not to know? what is the pink elephant in the center of your living room?

let me ask this: what excuses have you been giving to procrastinate bringing up the issue that everybody needs to deal with? “i don’t want to make it worse!” being quiet will make it worse. “i don’t want to be judgmental.” we talked about this. it isn’t about being judgmental. it’s about being loving. “i don’t know what to say. i don’t know the answer.” you don’t have to know the answer. you only have to point out the problem. GOD will take care of step two. GOD has not called you to solve everybody’s problem in the whole world. you don’t have to solve everybody’s problem, but you do have to care enough when you see the problem of somebody you love to point it out. that’s called love. graduate-level loving. you care enough to not be quiet. you speak up.

you say, “it’s not my place. it’s none of my business. who am i to point that out?” the phrase “it’s none of my business” is one of the most selfish statements ever created. basically, the person who says, “it’s none of my business,” is saying, “the rest of the world can go to hell in a handbag. i don’t care.” it’s an incredibly selfish statement. love demands that sometimes you confront. love demands that sometimes you say, “this isn’t working out. stop this. let me help you.” will you care enough to confront?

i realize that what i’m talking about is for mature audiences only. you can’t handle this unless you’ve got a level of maturity. this is so counter culture. our culture basically says, “let everybody do what they want to do and don’t worry about it. it’s no skin off my nose. if they want to mess up their lives, if they want to destroy their marriage, their life, fine.” the real issue is, are you willing to be used by GOD?

just a thought from the front porch…

you don’t have to be perfect…

one of the biggest motivations that is very common in our lives and we don’t recognize it is we often criticize in other people the weakness we hate about ourselves. we do this all the time. if you know your weaknesses and you don’t like them in you, you really don’t like them in somebody else. so if you tend to be a gossip, you notice other people who gossip, and you really don’t like it when they do that. if you tend to be prideful, you can pick out ego in a second. if you tend to be lazy, you notice other lazy people. we tend to criticize in other people the very thing we don’t like in ourselves.

that’s why JESUS says this in matthew 7.3-5 (nlt), why worry about a speck in your friend’s eyes when you have a log in your own? first get rid of the log in your own eye and then perhaps you’ll see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. pretty good advice. HE said make sure you’re not doing the same thing. before you confront anybody in the spirit of love, make sure you’re not doing it yourself.

one man said, “about 18 months ago, i had to confront my wife about her addiction to pain killers after years of chronic illness. the amazing thing is i was addicted to the exact same medication but refused to admit it. my wife started attending celebrate recovery, and although i didn’t think i personally needed it, i went along to support her. then one night a man named steve had the courage to point out my hypocrisy. he was right, and i thanked him for having the courage to be honest with me. now i’m growing and changing, too. without steve’s guts to tell me the truth, i’d still be wallowing in my own self-pity.”

make sure you’re not guilty of the same thing. you don’t have to be perfect to point out something that needs changing in somebody else’s life. if that were true, you’d never point anything out, because nobody’s perfect. you don’t have to be perfect to speak the truth in love. you just have to make sure that you’re not guilty of that exact same sin.

but doesn’t JESUS say in luke 6.37 (niv), do not judge, and you will not be judged. yes, he does. and that is probably the most misused verse in the bible and the most misunderstood verse in the bible.

when JESUS said do not judge, HE was not saying ignore problems in a friend’s life. HE was not saying tolerate sin. HE was not saying allow evil to exist. people want to say, do not judge, and you will not be judged means just let anybody do what they want to do. no, that’s not at all what HE was saying.

when JESUS said, do not judge, HE was saying don’t hypocritically condemn in other people the very thing that you yourself are doing at that moment. that’s what HE’s talking about. HE’s saying you don’t build yourself up by tearing other people down when you’re doing the exact same thing. HE’s not saying don’t be discerning and don’t point out something that’s wrong in a person’s life, a relationship or in our society.

just a thought from the front porch…