the most forgiving is the most forgiven...

remembering how much GOD has been merciful to me helps me if i am a judgmental person.

james 2.13 (niv), mercy triumphs over judgment.

there is a principle greater than criticism.  it’s the principle of forgiveness.  the principle of mercy.  JESUS said, blessed are the merciful.

matthew 18 is the story of the unforgiving servant.  he owed $50,000 to his master.  his master forgave him.  then he went out and found the guy that owed him $5 and strangled him because he wouldn’t pay him.  when the master heard about it he took the servant and said, “if that the way you want to play the game, ok.  you’re unforgiving, it will be unforgiven for you.”

the bible says we’re to be merciful because GOD has given us so much mercy.  the reason why i have to be patient with you is because GOD is patient with me.  the reason you have to be patient with me is because GOD is patient with you.  that’s the way it goes.  none of us get what we deserve.  if we did we wouldn’t be here.  it’s all by GOD’s grace.

we take advantage of GOD’s grace.  we forget how good it is.  when you first become a CHRISTian you understand how much you’re forgiven.  it’s a thrilling experience and you’re really grateful for it.  but the longer you’re a CHRISTian, the more you take for granted.

kind of like the boss who gives everybody in the company a $350 CHRISTmas bonus.  everybody praises the boss.  the second year he decides to do it again – a second $350.  by the third CHRISTmas you’ve already spent the money and thinking what is he going to do this year?  if he didn’t give it you’d be upset.  we become conditioned to be ungrateful. 

if GOD’s been gracious with us we need to be gracious with others.  the most forgiving person is the most forgiven person.  once a person has fallen, made mistakes, realized it and faced up to it, you’re a lot more sympathetic, open and forgiving, kind and loving with other people.

just a thought from the front porch…

a gift to give every day…

we have eaten the turkey been to the parade and now it is the celebration of giving.  but wisdom says there is something that we are to give every day.  james 3.17 (msg), real wisdom, GOD’s wisdom….is overflowing with mercy and blessings.

we are testing ourselves here on the porch at whether we are wise or not and we are asking ourselves some questions.  here is today’s.  do you minimize other’s mistakes?  if you do then you are wise. 

do you ever let people go or do you keep hounding their past mistakes?  do you never set them free even if they have asked for forgiveness?  “remember the time you did…”  you’re always holding on and bringing up the past for leverage.  that’s dumb.  if i’m wise, i won’t emphasize your mistakes.  i’ll be full of mercy.  i’ll give you what you need, not what you deserve.

there were these two guys at a convention with their wives. they hadn't seen each other for a long time so they sat in the lobby all night talking.  now they knew they would be in trouble with their wives but they just kept on talking.  finally they went back to their rooms.

the next morning they happened to see each other and the one asked, “what did your wife think?”  the other guy said, “well when i walked in the room my wife got all historical.”  don’t you mean hysterical.”  no historical.  she told me everything that i had ever done wrong. 

do you do that?  proverbs 17.9 (tlb) says, love forgets mistakes.  nagging about them parts even the best of friends. 

rick warren say, “you dom’t rub it in, you rub it out.”  listen, if i stumble and make a mistake, i don’t need you to judge me, i need you to encourage me.

what about when you’re home and somebody forgets something – forgets to fill the car with gas and you run out on the freeway, somebody forgets to bring the mail in, how do you handle that?  do you rub it in or do you rub it out? 

wisdom….is overflowing with mercy and blessings. blessings is kind actions, it’s something you do.  you don’t just show sympathy, you don’t just say, “i feel for you… you brought it on yourself.”  you do something about it.  you take action, it’s a kindness.  it’s being a doer of the word.  james 2.13 (msg), kind mercy wins over harsh judgment every time. don’t judge.

if i’m wise i won’t point out your mistakes.

just a thought from the front porch…

understanding and validation…

the fact is the people in your life who you least want to forgive, the people in your life you least want to show mercy to are the people who need it the most.  the unlovely people.  the people you don’t want to love.  hurt people hurt people.  if somebody’s hurting you, they’re hurting on the inside.  so here’s the secret of mercy – learn their background.  when you find out the background of people you cut them a whole lot more slack.  you’re much more gracious to them.  you go, “look at what they’ve been through!”  you find out the background of people and the hurts and heartaches they’ve been through you’re going to be a lot more forgiving.  you stop saying, “look how far they’ve got to go!” and you start saying, “ look how far they’ve come.”  if you put yourself in their shoes you might not even be that far with all the pain that they went through.  you start looking at people with the eyes of JESUS.  that’s mercy.

mercy is revolving door.  the more you give the more you get back.  matthew 5.7 (nlt), GOD blesses those who are merciful for they will be shown mercy.  you want GOD to bless your life?  then you start blessing others with mercy. 

another way you can bless others with your words is when you express sympathy.

when you do what the bible says to do in colosians 3.12 (Gw).  as holy people be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle and patient.  the bible gives us this picture.  we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.  it’s a good picture of what sympathy means.  a definition of sympathy is to be able to understand and affirm somebody else’s feelings.  not just their experiences but their feelings.  what they’re going through at that moment.  sympathy says, i affirm what your heart is going through at this moment.  i affirm your problems and your pain.  sympathy is very powerful because it meets two of the most basic human needs. 

first of all it meets a need that every one of us have and that is the need to feel like, i am understood.  someone else understands me.  sympathy says, i understand what you’re going through.  i understand that life is difficult right now. 

sympathy also meets a second basic need we all have right now which is to have my feelings validated.  to realize i’m not so strange.  everybody has these feelings.  i cannot tell you the times when i’ve looked across at somebody else, as a pastor, and said, “everyone feels that way.”  and seen a wave of relief come over the person’s face.  we all have this basic human need to know, i am not weird.  it’s a good thing to know sometimes in life. 

just a thought from the front porch…

the difference between forgiveness and trust…

i want to challenge you to develop a reputation wherever you work for the person who shows mercy.  i don’t think CHRISTians should be known for what we’re against: “they’re against that and that and that and that…” i think CHRISTians should be known for our mercy.  “he’s the most forgiving person in the office…  she’s the most merciful person at our worksite.” 

job was famous for his mercy.  he had a friend named eliphaz who said this about him.  job 4:4a (gw), when someone stumbled you lifted him up with your words.  i love that!  isn’t that great?  you lifted him up with your words.  as a retired pastor i’m very keenly aware of the power of our words.  you can build people up or you can tear them down.  it says you lifted them up.

how do you do that?  when someone makes a mistake, when someone blows it, when someone sins around you how do you lift them up with your words?  you don’t rub it in rub it out.  that’s the way you lift people up with your words.  you don’t rub it in: “that was stupid!  what were you thinking when you did that?  you idiot!” no, you don’t rub it in, you rub it out. 

another thing, you help them focus on what’s left not what’s lost.  when people make a mistake they always lose something.  so you help them focus on what’s left not what’s lost.  that is showing mercy to people.  when people blow it they don’t need a sermon.  they need mercy.  that’s one of the ways you can bless people.

some of you have a hard time doing this because you don’t know the difference between forgiveness and trust.  they are not the same thing.  you are called to forgive people immediately whether they ask for it or not.  in fact, if you are a CHRISTian you have to forgive people.  it’s not optional for you.  if you claim to be a believer, if you claim to be a follower of JESUS CHRIST, you have to forgive them.  but that doesn’t mean you continue to let them do what they are doing.

for instance, if you’re in a home situation and someone has been abusing you, you have to forgive them so you don’t hold on to resentment and grudge.  but you don’t have to let them continue to abuse you.  trust is different.  trust is built over time with a track record.  you earn trust.  forgiveness is grace.  trust is earned.  that’s why people misunderstand.  for instance, when a leader blows it or sins in a major way then somebody will say, “why would we remove him from office?  shouldn’t he be forgiven?”  yes!  forgiveness is immediate and demanded and instant.  but trust must be rebuilt over time.  you forgive them but that doesn’t mean they stay in leadership.  they have to earn the trust again because all leadership is built on trust.

so you learn to be forgiving immediately and instantly so you don’t hold on to a grudge. 

just a thought from the front porch…

the problem with mercy…

we’re looking at ways you can bless people with your words and this one is a little difficult.

you bless others when you offer mercy.

the truth is we all stumble, we all sin, we all blow it, we all make mistakes, we’re all imperfect.  so we all need massive doses of mercy.  since we’re all imperfect this may be the most common way to bless other people.  when people around you make a mistake – at work, at school, at home – what do you do?  you should show mercy. 

2 corinthians 2.7 (cev), when people sin you should forgive and comfort them so they won’t give up in despair.  it’s what you do after people make a mistake that makes the real difference in their lives.  do you write them off?  do you put them on your black list?  do you hold a grudge and say, “i’m not going to associate with you any more.”  or do you as the bible says comfort and forgive them so they don’t give into despair. 

mercy is an attitude of GOD.  in fact, over 100 times in the old testament it says, “GOD is merciful.”  if you’re going to learn to be like GOD, if you’re going to learn to grow spiritually and become like JESUS CHRIST, you must learn to be merciful.  the bible says in ephesians 2.4 (Gw), GOD is rich in mercy. 

here’s the problem.  there’s only one way to learn mercy.  by being hurt.  that’s the only way you’re going to learn it.  you see, if nobody ever hurt you and you never have to forgive anybody and if you never have to forgive anybody you’re going to never learn to be like GOD.  so GOD is going to allow some pain, allow some hurt, allow some difficulties in your life where you learn to express mercy.  mercy is treating people just the way GOD treats them. 

you’re never going to have to forgive anybody more than GOD has already forgiven you.  this is the motivation for our mercy.  colossians 3.13 (lb), remember the LORD forgave you so you must forgive others.  we’ve been shown mercy so that’s our motivation.  GOD’s been merciful to me.  i need to be merciful to others.  i need to cut them some slack. 

every time you’re hurt you’ve got a choice.  am i going to use my energy for retaliation or for reconciliation?  am i going to use my energy to get even or to get well?  am i going to use my energy for revenge or am i going to use it for restoration?  you don’t have enough energy to do both.  GOD says, “you want to bless people?  when they blow it, when they make mistakes, when they hurt you, show them mercy.  i have shown mercy to you.  i want you to show mercy to them.” 

just a thought from the front porch…

grace or guilt?...

ephesians 2.8-9 (tev), for it is by GOD's grace that you have been saved through faith. it is not the result of your own efforts, but GOD's gift, so that no one can boast about it

the point is that salvation is based on GOD's mercy not my merit. salvation is based on GOD's promise not my performance. he says, you don't earn it.

it's almost comical the way some people try to earn their salvation, to prove themselves worthy to GOD, try to earn his forgiveness.

some have what could be called salvation by sincerity. "it doesn't matter what you believe as long as you're sincere." the only problem with that is you can be sincerely wrong. i read about a pilot who sincerely flew into a mountain. i could pick up a glass of arsenic and drink it thinking it's milk. it will still kill me! you can be sincerely wrong.

then there is salvation by subtraction. you don't do this, don't do that, stop doing this and that... and maybe GOD will forgive your sins. don't smoke, cuss, or chew or run with girls that do. just don't do anything!

i've said many, many times that if all the CHRISTian life is is a bunch of "don'ts" anybody who lives in a rest home qualifies as a CHRISTian. you don't do much in those places. just set around and wait for your oatmeal.

then there is salvation by service. do good. be nice. take the LORD's supper. get baptized. help little old ladies across the street.

then there is salvation by comparison. "i don't need to become a CHRISTian because i'm better than..." the fact is you may be better than so and so, better than me, probably are. but GOD doesn't judge you according to me. i'm not the standard and neither is the other guy. the bible says GOD himself is the standard and we all fall short. that's the most basic thing in the CHRISTian life. but GOD's saving grace removes my guilt.

if you could save yourself the cross is a waste. there's no reason for JESUS CHRIST to die. if you could save yourself why did he put forth all the effort?

the most important decision you'll ever make is to receive GOD's saving grace. if you haven't done it, do it today. GOD's saving grace removes my guilt.

just a thought from the front porch…