just ask HIM…

so many times i don’t think before i speak and that get’s me in trouble.  i’m sure that is true about you too.  rick warren says the key to handling this is to engage your mind before you put your mouth in gear. james puts it this way in chapter 1 verse 19 (msg), lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.

you first, lead with your ears.  stop and listen to what they are saying.  if you do that then you will follow up with your tongue.  then what follows is you will let anger straggle along in the rear.  that really works.  lead with your ears + follow up with your tongue and if you do it in that order then you will minimize the potential for you to get angry or you let anger straggle along in the rear.

so what does your mouth say about you?   if you had some way to record what you say, you would see yourself in a whole different way.  you really would.  it would tell you a whole lot about the direction that your words are taking you.

maybe you would hear yourself say, “i’m sick all the time” or “i can never do anything”, “things are just getting tougher and tougher.”  where do you think that kind of talk is taking you?

let me ask you, what would happen if you would go to your kids and say, “i’m sorry.  i know you are so confused because of the way i talk to you.  sometimes i say something loving and then sometimes i say something harsh.  i’m human.”

or to your spouse.  what if you would apologize to him or her and say, “i don’t always talk lovingly to you as i ought to.  i sometimes tend to be uncaring, cold, indifferent and i can be bossy and harsh.  i can be so inconsistent and inconsiderate.  please forgive me.”  ezekiel gives the answer to the hurtful way we talk.  he says get rid of all your offenses you’ve committed and get a new heart and a new spirit.

james 3.4 (msg) says, a small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds.  we need a strong skilled hand to deal with this problem of our tongue.  what you and i need is JESUS CHRIST in control of our heart.  HE is the one who will give you that new heart and new spirit.  let HIM control your life.  let HIM control your tongue.  HE is the key.  just ask HIM.

just a thought from the front porch…

i need supernatural power…

now to control my tongue i need GOD’s help everyday.  i can’t do it in my own power, i need supernatural power.  we can’t do it on our own so we need to ask GOD to help us. 

a good way to start every morning is to pray what the psalmist in psalm 141.3 (ncv) prayed, LORD, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what i say.  pray that when you are about to criticize your spouse.  pray that when you are about to be judgemental. “ LORD, don’t let me say things without thinking.  please don’t let me say things off the cuff and then i regret it.”  just pray that daily, LORD, help me control my tongue; help me be careful about what i say.  

sidlow baxter said,  “the proof that GOD’s SPIRIT is in your life is not that you speak in an unknown tongue but you control the tongue you know.”  if you are careful about what you say and you ask GOD then HE will give you the power to not slander, not lie, not exaggerate.

another thing to be reminded of is to read GOD’s word.  this is also a way HE will help us.

there is a computer statement that says, garbage in, garbage out.  what goes into your mind, goes into your heart.  what goes into your heart, comes out of your mouth.  fill your mind with the word of GOD – with positive things, whatsoever things that are true, etc. – think on these things.

GOD is there to empower us through HIS word and through HIS SPIRIT.  just read and ask.

just a thought from the front porch…

a fresh start…

if you’ve got a problem with your tongue, it’s much more serious than you think.  you have a heart problem.  a person with a harsh tongue has an unsettled heart.  a person with a boasting tongue has an insecure heart.  a person with a filthy tongue has an impure heart and a person who is critical all of the time has a bitter heart.

but on the other hand, a person who is always encouraging has a happy heart.  a person who speaks gently has a loving heart and a person who speaks truthfully has an honest heart.

so what is the solution?  the  solution is get a new heart.  get a new heart.

listen you’ve got to get a new heart, that’s the problem.  ezekial 18:31 (niv), rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed and get a new heart and a new spirit!

painting the outside of the pump doesn’t make any difference if there is poison in the well.  i can change the outside externals, i can turn over a new leaf, but what i really need is a new life.  what i need is a fresh start, i need to let go of all the past and be born again and start over.  i need a new heart.

so how do i get a new heart?  2 corinthians 5.17 (niv), therefore if any one is in CHRIST, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

new life, new heart, new spirit.  when you come to JESUS CHRIST, HE wipes out everything you’ve done in the past.  HE says, “you’re starting over”.  it’s like being born again.  you need a new heart.

we need to pray like david prayed in psalm 51, create in me a clean heart because what’s in my heart is going to come out in my mouth.

just a thought from the front porch…

a strange contradiction…

here is another thought.  my tongue displays who i am.  it reveals my real character.  it tells what’s really inside of me. 

first james points out how inconsistent we are in our speech.  james 3.9 (niv), with the tongue we praise our LORD and FATHER, and with it we curse men who have been made in GOD’s likeness.  out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  my brothers, this should not be.

we say these things out of the same mouth.  we come to church on sunday.  the highest use of your mouth is to use it to praise GOD.  we sing praises to the LORD, then we walk out, get in our car and on the way home we argue about where we are going for lunch. 

isn’t it amazing how quickly your attitude changes?  in one minute you’re saying, “praise the LORD,” the next you’re saying, “shut up!”  the tongue is a strange contradiction.  it’s so inconsistent. 

it’s so amazing how quickly it can change, like dr. jeckll and mr. hyde.  one minute we’re praising GOD and the next cursing other people.

now cursing here doesn’t necessarily mean profanity.  it means any kind of put down, label.  (“you’re good for nothing…you’ll never amount to anything…you’re just like…”)  any kind of put down is a curse.  he says, “why curse men?  they’re made in GOD’s image.”

now this bothers me immensely.  i think how it is possible that we can be loving to people we love – our kids, wives, husbands – and the next moment be harsh, cold, mean to them?  how is it possible? 

how is it possible in one minute to be talking to my kids in gentle, loving tones and the next minute i’m being mean to them?  i hurt them.  i am saying things that damage their self-esteem.

do you struggle with an inconsistent tongue?  james says we all have it.  we speak lovingly in one breath and then lash out in the next.  what gives?  what’s the problem?  why do we do that?  why can we genuinely mean something in love and kindness one minute and then genuinely mean something in hate the next minute?

well JESUS said in matthew 12.34 (niv), for out of the heart the mouth speaks.

JESUS explained the freudian slip years before freud even existed.  he said, what’s inside of you is what’s coming out.  my tongue just displays what i am.  it directs where i go.  it can destroy what i have.  but most of all, it simply displays what i am.  it reveals character.

just a thought from the front porch…

why i must watch what i say…

here on the front porch we are looking at why i must watch what i say.

proverbs 21.23 (tev), if you want to stay out of trouble be careful what you say.

james uses another illustration.  he talks about a zoo.  james 3.7 & 8 (niv), all kinds of animals…have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue.  (it’s humanly impossible.  only GOD can do it.)  it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

of all the animals we’ve tamed, no man can tame the tongue, humanly speaking.  he says it’s restless.  that means it’s always liable to break out at any moment.

when lion country safari was opened out in california there was a big sign as you drove in – “do not get out of your car.  do not roll the window down.”  why?  those animals that look so tame and peaceful could rip your head off in a second.  restless, always liable to break out.  you never know what your mouth is going to say.

it’s like poison.  the word in greek is literally “snake venom”.  just a few drops can kill.  you can assassinate somebody with your words.  assassinate their character.  the tongue is a deadly weapon.

there is a presidential candidate in the news now who some women have said that a number years ago he sexually harassed them and i’ve thought, no matter if he is guilty or not he still will be crucified.  the tongue is a deadly weapon.

just a thought from the front porch…

your words can destroy what you have…

james says my tongue directs where i go, so i've got to learn to control it.  and he says my tongue can destroy what i have.

james 3.5 & 6a gives us another illustration (niv), consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.  the tongue also is a fire.

imagine a beautiful forest – tall beautiful trees everywhere.  now imagine it in one minute up in smoke, completely destroyed by a little tiny match.   it only takes a spark to get a fire going.

in 1983 in australia, one fire overnight destroyed 600 miles of land, villages, livestock, all from a single match.  james says, your tongue can destroy like that.  you can lose it all.  a careless camper can destroy a life overnight, thousands of lives.  gossip is like fire.  it spreads quickly and it wrecks havoc.

i wonder how many people because of a careless word have destroyed their marriage, or their career, or their reputation, or the reputation of another, or their church, or a friendship.  the tongue not only has the power to direct where you go but also to destroy what you have if you don’t learn to control it.  it’s like a fire.

proverbs 18.20 (tev), you will have to live with the consequences of everything you say.

continuing on in james 3.6b (niv), …it sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.  notice it says, whole course.

he’s saying here that words can create a chain reaction.  you can say something that you didn’t mean to have any harm, but it can have devastating effects that are beyond your control.  just a few inflammatory statements set off a chain of events that we now look back on and call world war ii.

just a thought from the front porch..

the steering wheel of your life...

james says my tongue directs where i go.  he says, consider a ship. james chapter 3 verse 4 (niv), or take ships as an example.  although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

the queen mary has three acres of recreational space.  the anchor is equal to the weight of ten cars yet a relatively small rudder directs the huge ocean liner out in the middle of the waves and winds and seas.  a little rudder keeps it on course.

our tongue is like that.  our tongue is like a rudder that steers us.  ships, …they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilots wants to go.  my tongue directs where i go.  noticed the word steered.  your tongue is the steering wheel of your life.  it is a guidance system.  if you don’t like the way you’re headed right now, change the way you talk.

many people think, if the tongue has such influence maybe it’s best to say nothing, to not talk, say nothing.  a guy joined the trappist monastery.  for three years, he was given a probation period where he was not to speak at all, but at the end of each year he could say two words.  the first year at the end he said, “bed hard.”  at the end of the second year he said, “food cold.”  at the end of the third year he’s about had it and he comes in and says, “i quit,” and the head priest said, “that doesn't surprise me.  all you’ve done is complain since you got here.”

james says my tongue directs where i go, so i’ve got to learn to control it.

just a thought from the front porch…

learn to tame your tongue…

here are some statistics on the average american.  you have 30 conversations a day and you will spend 1/5 of your life talking. in one year your conversations will fill 66 books of 800 pages a book.  if you’re a man you speak an average of 20,000 words a day, if you’re a woman you speak 30,000 words a day.

now some of us are born with a silver foot in our mouth.  we have the natural ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time.  nothing is opened more wrongly at the wrong time than our mouths.

like the stock boy at the grocery store, lady asked him, “can i buy a half a lettuce?”  he walked back to the manager to ask, not realizing she was walking right behind him.  he said, “you’re not going to believe this, there’s an old bag out there who wants to buy half a head of lettuce.”  he turned around and saw her standing there and said, “and this fine lady would like to buy the other half.”

our mouths get us into a lot of trouble.  james talks more about the tongue than anybody else in the new testament.  every chapter in book of james says something about managing your mouth. 

verse 2 of chapter 3 (niv), we all stumble in many ways.  if anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

james says, if you can control your mouth, you’re perfect.  now he’s not talking about sinless.  the word “perfection” in greek literally means “mature, healthy.”

when you go to the doctor and say, “i’m not feeling good,” the first thing he says is, “stick out your tongue.”  your tongue reveals what’s going on inside of you, not just physically but spiritually.  james says, you’ve got to learn to mange your mouth.  you’ve got to learn to tame your tongue.  you’ve got to get your tongue under control. 

just a thought from the front porch…

decide to be honest...

how powerful are words? the bible says that GOD created the world with the word. that’s how powerful words are.

yet in the book of james in the new testament in chapter 2, james reminds us that we have a tough time with our tongues sometimes. he says if anybody can speak perfectly all the time, they’re a perfect person. he said that our tongue is like a restless evil. it’s full of poison. later in the book he says, “out of this same mouth come blessings and cursings.” we’ve all faced that.

so the question is, how do i use these words to build people rather than tear people down?

counselor, gary chapman, said this about communication: “communication is basically an act of the will.” i’ve got to decide some things and JESUS shows us the way. what can i decide to do this week to build people with my words?

one thing i can do is i can decide to be honest.

proverbs 24.26 (ms), an honest answer is like a warm hug.

yet many of us relate more to this quote: “the secret of life is honesty in fair dealing. if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” that’s not proverbs. that’s groucho marx. we relate to that, though. it’s tough to be honest sometimes.

but JESUS was honest in his communication. HE didn’t talk so much about honesty as HE practiced honesty. HE spoke with honesty in all of his relationships.

ephesians 4.15 (niv) in the new testament tells us how that honesty is balanced in our lives. speaking the truth in love. you balance truth and love. it takes both. you speak it in love.

there are some people who use truth like a missile. they don’t tell you the truth. they aim it at you. we’ve all discovered that. that’s not what this is talking about.

there are other people who are just thoughtless. that can also hurt people. they’re just thoughtless with what they say. they say things like, “you do well for your age.” or “i can’t believe you did such a good job!” was that a compliment?

just a thought from the front porch…