in building each other up we need to correct without condemning.
proverbs 19.18 (ncv), correct your children while there is still hope. do not let them destroy themselves.
the bible says we need to correct our children. we need to even correct each other as adults. how do you do that without condemning?
one way is to never correct in anger.
whether you’re a manager, a teacher or a parent. never correct in anger. when you correct in anger, you’re just most of the time getting even.
i have to admit to you that when my kids frustrated me it felt good to let off steam. it feels good to get angry. it’s all been building up inside of you and you want to let it out. but when you discipline in anger, it always produces anger in return and resentment. and you will reap what you sow. you’re setting yourself up for a problem. you may get the perceived desired behavior that you want but you are sowing seeds of rebellion when you discipline in anger.
ephesians 6.4 (lb), don’t keep on scolding and nagging your children making them angry and resentful, - “angry” and “resentful” are the two results when you scold or nag - rather bring them up with loving discipline that the LORD himself approves with suggestions and GODly advice.
also watch your words when you are correcting. ephesians 4.29 (lb), don’t use harmful words. use only helpful words, the kind that build up.
when you use harmful words, harmful words always become hurtful memories. we always remember negative things said to us far longer, criticisms far longer than compliments.
you can still remember hurtful things said to you when you were a child but you don’t remember all the compliments. you may use put downs, sarcasms, comparisons (“why can’t you be like…” or “you’re always like…”), you may be able to manipulate through guilt, through anger, but you are sowing seeds of rebellion that are going to destroy the relationship even though you get the perceived behavior at that time.
one of the main reasons why your mate may now have no feelings for you is because at one time you may have said something that really hurt them and you never asked them for forgiveness.
just a thought from the front porch…
2 comments:
We may not remember what someone said to us, but we always remember how they treated us. So even when correcting children, it's essential to treat them with courtesy and respect.
My goodness, how did i need this post, thanks! Hope i will practice this more often. I cannot say i correct in anger, more in a sense of irritation. The words come out not nice either then.
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