What do you focus on to have joy in your relationships?
Step 1. Focus on giving rather than receiving.
This is called love. That's what love is. Love is focusing on giving rather than receiving.
The Bible says, that GOD is love, that GOD is a giver and that every good gift comes down from GOD, "GOD so loved the world that HE gave."
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving. Love is giving. That's the whole essence of love. It's giving rather than receiving. So when you focus on giving rather than receiving in your relationship, you're being most like GOD. Because that's the loving thing to do.
The Bible says in Acts 20:35 (TEV), "There is more happiness in giving than in receiving." The first key to joy in a relationship is you've got to focus on somebody else rather than on yourself.
A lot of what is called love today, really isn't. Love is based on giving. Lust is based on getting. Love can always wait to give but lust can never wait to get. A lot of so-called love songs on the radio, they're not love songs – they're lust-songs.
Why are so many marriages falling apart at such a rapid rate today? It is because society has trained us to do the exact opposite of this first step. Society says, Look out for Number One. That's a great way to be miserable. Society says, I've got to do what's best for me. Who said? That's a good way to be miserable, be self-centered. Society says, “What's in it for me?” And if all of a sudden there's nothing left for me in the relationship, forget it, I'm out of here.
Just a thought from the front porch…